Why Is It So Hard To Just Listen?

Have you ever been brokenhearted and feared telling a friend? As Christians, we are often hesitant to share our deepest struggles in fear of being rebuked or told we are not exercising our faith. Job says “A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14).

We always want to “fix.”

Why is it hard to just listen to a friend who is hurting or angry and not feel the need to “fix” them? I dare say it is because we don’t like to face pain and we try to avoid it in ourselves and others.
When a friend of mine’s 8-year old daughter died, she said so many Christians told her they didn’t know what to say…then they opened their mouth and proved it!
Job’s friends exhibited a short time when they were able to be true friends. Job 2:13 revealed how they sat on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. They must have gotten impatient with the amount of time the suffering went on, so they decided to give their two cents on “why” they thought Job’s was experiencing his trial. We all know their dissertations went on for over 35 long chapters before God spoke and rebuked them. God asked Job to pray for them and make a sacrifice so that God would not bring down his judgment on their stupidity. (Job 42:7-9).

How we can listen better?

Being a true Yada Sister or Brother to a friend in pain takes patience, time, and lots of listening without giving advice. If you find this is hard to do; look into your heart to see why pain is uncomfortable to be around. There may be unresolved issues from your past that have not been addressed. Often the pain of others reminds us of similar wounds we have faced.
After doing Yada for 11 years with my two Yada Sisters; I can say I have learned to listen better and am heard like I have never been heard before. Where can you share for a half hour and be truly listened to? The Yada experience has changed my life as I have become a better friend and listener to those God has placed in my life.
Ask God to show you how to face pain He has allowed in your life and bear the brokenness of others around you. We are the best friends we can be, when we have experienced his love and healing in our lives first…and then we can show compassion in the measure we have been shown compassion. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, so we are near Him when we are with them.

 

Where have you struggled lately with not listening? Let the YadaFactor experience show you how to improve this skill that can make a huge difference in your life and the life of your Yada Brother or Sister!